Something Has To Give

It's been a while since I've been here and I wish I could say it is because I've been busy having fun and living it up. But that's not the case. I've been working like a crazy person and just trying to keep my head above water. I won't bore you with the details of all that.

But over the past few months a lot has gone very wrong in my life. Sure, things can always be worse and I try to maintain a positive attitude, but I'm not a happy camper at this point in life. I have a lot that is very good and I'm not knocking any of that, but that's not the subject of this post.

I've mentioned before that I have an abnormally high anxiety level. I suspect there's a lot going on upstairs that I don't fully understand and could probably use the help of a professional. But without insurance, that isn't happening. So, you do with what you have, and all I have is myself to work with at this point. So I'm considering some rather drastic change.

Some time back I watched this Oprah show. I was enthralled! One of the largest sources of stress and anxiety in my life is stuff. No one thing in particular, just my stuff. I keep things (useful things, not broken stuff, and I'm not a hoarder) that I think I'll need or want some day. We all do this I know, but how many of you have an entire kitchen cabinet devoted to candles? Um, I do, and I almost never burn candles. There is no reason to have all of those candles, and yet I keep them.

I'm a pretty neat person. People who know me or who have been to my house know that I try to keep things orderly. But, my house looks a mess most of the time because there is WAY too much stuff in a place so small. I clean, I try to organize, but there is just too much.

After watching that show I found myself looking for more people who live a life of "voluntary simplicity". I stumbled on a blog (which I wish I could find again) of a family who lived this type of life and it looked fantastic. She posted pictures of her daughters bedroom and closet and I was just amazed at how simple it all was and how happy their life looked. Now, I'm in no way ready to move into a one bedroom cabin in the woods with my two boys, but I think most of the stuff could go and I'd never miss it.

I also think about all the time and money I've spent acquiring these things and trying to find homes for them and cleaning around them...and how much better that time could have been spent. I've been observing what my children seem to enjoy most, and none of it involves much stuff. They'd rather be at the library or making something than playing the Wii that I thought they had to have.

So this high maintenance hippie is going to try to get a little more hippie and a little less high maintenance. Think I can let go of the stuff? I'm not sure if I can, but we're going to see.