New Blog In Progress

I have a new blog on the horizon. I know, why start a new blog when I never write on this one? Well, I love this little blog, but it has always lack direction. It's just been a personal page for me to write about whatever I've felt like writing about. There's nothing wrong with that of course, but it lets me off the hook where regular writing is concerned.

The new blog will have focus. I need motivation to finally get to a healthy weight and fitness level once and for all. This is going to require accountability to something and I'm going to make it the blog and its readers. I also want to make writing of some sort a regular practice and the blog will help with that too. The blog will focus on my weight loss journey in the beginning and then hopefully move into a place of helping others with their goals.

So, be on the lookout for a post about the new blog!!

You Are Enough

I have an obsession with documentaries. I like them all, but I really enjoy them if they're about our food supply, nutrition, dieting, or the like. This lead me to watch American the Beautiful and American the Beautiful 2. The first is about the American obsession with beauty and the second about our obsession with our weight and dieting. In the first one the filmmaker interviews a woman who has an elective plastic surgery and takes over an hour to wake from her anesthesia. He said when he left he called every man that he knows and told them to call every woman that they know and tell them that they are beautiful just the way they are. Now, he wasn't making judgments on people who choose elective plastic surgery, and neither am I. There are all sorts of reasons one may do something like that. Heck there are cases where I might consider it. But his point in making those phone calls was to hopefully spread the word that we are enough just the way we are.

This blog has been devoted to my weight loss journey and my attempts at minimizing my life and being kinder to the planet. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve your life. I'd be lying to you if I said that the only reason I want to lose weight is to be healthy. I have a big stack of jeans in my closet that I was wearing this time last year and I do beat myself up because I can't wear them now. I received a gift card to Victoria's Secret for Christmas this year and I went in there last night with the intentions of using it. I left empty handed and rather depressed. Honestly there are very few mannequins and only a few pictures of models wearing the items in the store. So it wasn't like I was bombarded with images of photoshopped women who made me feel like I could never look like they do in the items. The fact is, I don't need that. I know what I look like and I know that it doesn't make me totally happy. I have made improvements over the years and I am proud of those. But I do want more. I will never have a models body and I have enough stretch marks to look like a tiger. But I have the ability to achieve a body that would make me happier. It's OK to want that and it is OK to try to achieve it. I don't hate who I am, but I don't love it either and I think its acceptable to want to work to a place where I do love it. But even if I don't love it, I do have to appreciate it and know that I need this body. I have to treat it with respect.

In America the Beautiful 2 he interviewed people who lost weight in a variety of ways, people who suffer from eating disorders, and a woman who I would classify as an obsessive exerciser. The variety of observations he made in those people, and things I have observed in people in my own life lead me to one conclusion. This is the only body I get. It doesn't look like I want it to right now, but it is enough. I am a single mother. My kids have a great father and step-mother, but they need their mother too. No matter what I want my body to look like I will always respect it. I have standards I would like to achieve. I do want to look a certain way, but I will NOT take a path that risks my health. Anyone who loves me will take me as I am right now, and anyone who loves you will take you as you are. No matter what you want to look like, no matter what someone else says about how you look, never ever do anything to risk your life for the sake of weight loss or beauty.

It's OK to want things for yourself. But look in the mirror and tell yourself that if you never look any different than you do right now YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Eat to Live Day #8

Nothing new to report really, and I know the daily food posts can get boring, so I think I'm going to go for more of a weekly update on this now. I did find a message board for the program that is free and I'm really wanting to buy some of his other materials but it isn't in the budget right now. I do plan to join his site once I have the money for that because I know that the extra support from other doing it who post frequently will help me a lot.

My mother is doing this as well and we both feel so good that today we discussed how hard it is not to just shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone you know who is suffering from something that could be cured or alleviated with this type of diet. But if there's one thing I've learned from my leader training at WW it is that you cannot convert everyone and you can shut people down if you aren't careful. People will make a change in their diet when weight loss (or better health) is in their top five priorities and if they aren't there, you can't make them be. It's hard though. We both have friends who suffer from varieties of conditions and while we can't prove that they would feel better, we know it is possible and wish they'd give it a try. So, as I did with WW if I continue to feel this good, and hopefully look better, then perhaps others will ask me what I'm doing and be motivated to try it too. I did finally share it with a closer group of people and there was some interest so we'll see. Fact is, everyone is different and everyone has to find their own path to health.

Eat to Live Day #7

Well it has been a full week on Eat to Live now and I must say...I'm impressed. I got up late this morning, so breakfast wasn't until about 9:30. I did the oatmeal again with a little less water, one apple, and some walnuts and it was perfect. I had grand plans for errand running, but they didn't work out the way I had hoped so I ended up back home at 12:45 instead of making it to the gym before lunch. I had my heart set on a taco salad, but got home and realized I was out of fake meat. So, I ran to the store and picked up that and a bunch of other fun stuff, and lunch was a HUGE taco salad with mostly lettuce, peppers, onions, avocado, fake meat, and salsa. I also crumbled about five baked scoops over it for crunch. Normally I would have had cheese and sour cream on it too so that was a big step. I also had three kiwi and a peppermint patty (I'm not totally cured of the chocolate thing).

After lunch was settled I had a kick ass workout at the gym. I jogged for 20 minutes, lifted and did kettlebells between my sets for about 30 minutes, then did a 20 minute fat burner workout on the step mill. I felt fantastic during my workout and wasn't even remotely hungry when I got home. I just had dinner at 6 which was a half a can of green beans, a cup and a half of spaghetti squash and my pita sandwich with avocado. My addiction to avocado is starting to be a problem ;). I also had two kiwi.

Normally I try to weigh myself only once a week, but I'm so curious with this program that I weighed again this morning and I was down another 1.6. I am a little worried about my lack of green vegetable intake and my massive consumption of avocado so I'm going to try to do something about that this week. I can't say enough how much I love that I'm not starving all the time and craving junk. That's what I really wanted out of this program and so far it is working.

Eat to Live Day #6

OK Day 6 went pretty good with a few slip ups here and there (still getting used to it). Breakfast was a recipe from his book for oatmeal. I made it without the raisins and walnuts and it was SO much food. When I stopped I probably had about an apple still left in the bowl. Tomorrow I'm going to make it with one apple, the walnuts, and just a little less water. I did have a 100 calorie pack of almonds and walnuts a little later.

Lunch was around 11:30 and I had a pita with half an avocado, tomato, lettuce and onion. I also had a huge salad with peppers, onions, black beans, and balsamic vinaigrette and some strawberries. Thanks to the pushy lady at Costco I ended up bringing home some Popchips last night and needless to say that some time after lunch I had a few of those as well.

Now normally I am starving by 3:00 and couldn't possibly workout without eating. By 5:00 my boys were picked up by their dad and I had a 100 calorie pack of walnuts and almonds because I was just starting to feel like I might not get through my workout if I didn't eat something. Well the gym was busy so I did about 20 minutes of jogging on the treadmill and then came home and did a 20 minute full body weight workout from a Bob Harper DVD. I had planned to do a lot more than that or I wouldn't have had the nuts. But by 6:45 I was pretty hungry so dinner was a repeat of my lunch pita, about a cup and a half of spaghetti squash, a full can of green beans, and two kiwi.

I am amazed that I was able to wait that long without eating and I wasn't even that horrible sick kind of hungry that I normally am when I get home after an evening workout. I don't know what my weight loss will be this week, but I love how I feel. 

Eat to Live Day 4 & 5

Sorry for my failure to update yesterday. The kids were out of school for a snow day and I sort of fell off the wagon. I didn't eat my normal breakfast because I was being lazy and so that started me off on a long hungry day. Then I had a crappy dinner and just didn't feel great. Today was good until dinner when I had a piece of pizza from Costco and some popchips. So, overall the past two days kind of stunk. However, I weighed in today and I'm down two pounds. That's pretty good for me and I know if I had followed the plan to the letter I would have lost even more. The snow day allowed me to clean house and get caught up on some work. I thought we were going to another wrestling tournament tomorrow, but it was cancelled due to snow. So with the exception of a little bit of work, I'm done with everything that had to get done this weekend. I stocked up on food at Costco this evening and I will have the time to sit down and really plan out and prepare what I'm going to eat this week. I'm excited and loving this!

Eat to Live Day #3

OK, it has only been three days, but so far I am loving this. This morning I went to the gym early. I don't have time to eat anything before I go so by the end of my workout my stomach is usually growling and I feel a little sick. This morning I felt like I could eat soon, but I didn't feel like I had to get something in there before I fainted. I didn't notice any difference in my workout performance. Breakfast was green tea with stevia, three kiwi, 100 calorie pack of natural almonds, and a banana. I felt pretty good until lunch, but I think on days when I work out in the morning I should probably eat just a little bit more. Lunch was sort of a fail, but not totally. I brought some steamable snow peas and a pita sandwich with avacado, tomato, onions and lettuce. The peas were just gross. I like them normally, but they just weren't good quality. So I dumped those and went to my co-op for a salad. All good there except for a few croutons, and I'm not sure about the dressing. I picked a vinaigrette, but I don't know the ingredients. I also had an apple, and some (yes sweet) tea. I was totally stuffed though. After work I went to get the boys, and to the store. I was still feeling good when I got home. I made a black bean soup and a repeat of the sandwich I had at lunch. Unfortunately I had some baked scoops with my soup and a Weight Watchers snack size ice cream bar. It's only day three though so I'm not going to beat myself up too bad. Last night I went to the store to replace my food processor that I knocked off my counter. I was looking for something $50 or less to get me through until I can save up for a really good one. I found one for $30 and was feeling good. Then I spotted a juicer on clearance for $24. I don't really like drinking things I could chew, but I thought it might be handy for when I'm just not in the mood to eat a ton of vegetables, and that the boys would like it. So I got a recommendation from a friend about what to try first, and got started. Helpful note, put the pulp catcher on before started. I shot spinach all over my counter, and juice ran everywhere when I moved it to out it on. As you can see...the first time was a fail.