Saturday, January 15, 2011

Yeah, I Suck

I normally have my boys for most of the day on Saturday, but today they left in the morning to go with their dad for the whole weekend. I prefer having them of course, but it gave me the opportunity to get a lot of stuff done. I was able to clean the house, find a more permanent place for our new critters in the house, go for a run and catch up on the TV shows I'd fallen behind on. I also did all of the laundry in the house, made a really awesome dinner for myself and baked some WW friendly cookies.

Overall it was a good day don't you think? On the outside it was a good day. But, I also wrote an uncomfortable e-mail which made me feel a little down. I didn't get any homework done like I'd hoped, ate a little too much of my awesome dinner and cookies, and failed to write any of the thank you notes I've been putting of writing in my little thankfulness project.

I guess the things I didn't get done aren't something I should beat myself up for considering all I did do. But in a brief exchange with a friend I was told I had an "unattractive quality". My opinion of the exchange we were having and his opinion were totally different based on what he said this quality was (I'm not going to tell you or else you'll be looking for it all the time) but I decided to leave it alone. I knew it was just an observation and resisted my instinct to see if he'd like to hear about his more "unattractive qualities". Most people have trouble with criticism, even if they say they don't, and I'm no exception. It's especially unpleasant when someone uses the word "unattractive" even if they're not talking about your looks. Say that word to a former fat girl who has had issues with her appearance her whole life and all she thinks about is her looks. Doesn't matter what your real goal was anymore.

So of course I got to thinking about all of my bad qualities and what I didn't get done today that I should have because of these qualities. So, yeah, I suck. Big deal. My kids are safe and healthy. Hopefully I'll see another day tomorrow where I will have another chance...oh and I wrote a bunch of thank you cards after all.

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