Monday, April 9, 2012


I had an amazing sweet friend tell me that she considered me a role model in her life. I literally brought tears to my eyes. I thought it was amazing that anything I've ever done or said anyone could have held on to as a good thing and that was truly touching. But I have to admit that I felt like I was somehow deceiving her and everyone else that knows me. Another fried chimed in and said I was one of the few people she would trust with her life. Truth is, these people can trust me. I would do anything for them and love them both very much.

But I still feel like I'm being deceptive. I feel like all of the things people see me post on Facebook or hear when talking to me is just painting a pretty mural on the side of a condemned building. In the scope of the world my problems are miniscule, but we can only live what we live and that's what we have to deal with on any given day. Yes, thinking about other people's problems can put your own in perspective for sure, but we still trudge through our own problems either way. I'm healthy, my kids are healthy and a lot is good for sure. I sat down to write a confessional type post about myself so that people would know the real me but I couldn't even stand to write it down.

I love the people in my life and the sweet things they say and do for me. I don't deserve very much of it. I'm a walking disaster and I'm kind of glad I look better to the rest of the world than I do to myself.


  1. I read somewhere that there is a new form of depression where people think their life is crap because they believe everyone else's life is better because of the pictures they paint of themselves on facebook. People are having a hard time separating someone's facebook "story" from their reality.

    I sometimes feel the way you do, and have to remind myself that it's ok to hide things I don't want the Twitter world to know, and that the people in my life that know the real me and still love me are my true friends.

  2. I read about that too Renee. I think I paint a rosier picture than the reality and so I feel like a fraud.