Monday, September 12, 2011

Online Dating 101 For Men

I've done the online dating thing off an on for a little while now. I'm not ashamed of this fact as I know several people who have met their spouse in this manner, I don't go to bars, and it saves you a lot of awkward dates by eliminating people you aren't compatible with early on. In this process I have identified some things that men should really consider when creating an online dating profile and I thought I should share the info in case I have any single male readers. Before someone says I'm being mean, know that I'm sure women do stuff they shouldn't as well. But, I'm coming from one perspective.

1. The Picture

You need to have one. If I have one, you should too. No, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but attraction is important. If I'm not the least bit attracted to you, then we're not off to a good start.

Once you have taken the picture, you need to look at it. Are you still wearing your wedding ring? Yeah, you might want to take that off.

Are your clothes clean and presentable? A date is sadly much like a job interview. If you're not willing to put your best foot forward for the picture, should I believe you will make any effort once in a relationship? You don't have to wear a suit and tie, but a shirt without stains and holes might be a start. Now, if your picture was taken by someone else while you were hard at work or something, that's different. But if you're taking it yourself or posing, make some sort of effort.

Are you even wearing clothes? Yeah, you should be. I don't want to see your abs (or lack thereof) before I've even met you. This does not apply if your picture was taken while on the beach or at the pool, but it doubly applies if you're taking the picture in your bathroom mirror. Honestly, it's best to avoid taking the picture in the bathroom.

Flexing. Just don't do it. It makes you look nuts and often you don't have the muscles you think you do.

Leave your jedi light saber or other swords out of the picture. Then again, that's information I need early, so by all means.

Spit out the snuff. In fact, quit dipping. Again you look nuts with a big lump on your face. Not to mention it's repulsive.

Tattoos. I love them, but I don't need a picture devoted just to your tattoo...especially if it's one you should have thought twice about.

2. Your profile

Write something in it. We need to know who you are and what you like.

Spell check and avoid text language. Again, this is like a job interview. You don't have to be a perfect speller but EVERY program underlines the words you get wrong and if you right-click it will give you spelling suggestions. Text speak just makes you look ignorant.

3. My profile

Read it carefully. Read it again before you contact me. I wrote what I wrote for a reason. I wanted to let you know some things about me before you contact me so you can eliminate me if I am not someone you'd likely get along with. If you read that I'm agnostic and your screen name is Jesus Freak then we likely won't get along all that well.

Once you contact me I will read your profile and if it is very evident from that, or from what you wrote to me that you did not read my profile I will not respond. It's just respectful and you look like a fool if it's obvious you only contacted me because of my picture.

4. First contact

If you decide to write to me....write something! "Hey" is not an opening email.

If you start out with anything about how "hot" I am and nothing else, you're getting deleted.

Asking me to meet you in the first email is creepy. Don't do it.

I'm sure people will think I'm being cocky by saying these things, but most of it just seems common sense to me. If you wouldn't do it on a job interview, don't do it in a dating profile. I know real life will set in at some point, but it's nice to at least make some effort when you're actively trying to meet new people.

A little addition to this post. A friend of mine shared this video and I found it too funny and too much like what I've experienced. Warning, lots of f-bombs so be careful where you watch it!

1 comment:

  1. Been there - done that. Met my fiancé online. The only guy you'll find in a bar is a guy who spends much of his paycheck (if he has one) at the bar. My recommendations include: state clearly if you're employed - if you're living in your parents' basement - if your idea of reading is a STOP sign - include if you're handicapped (for real! I had a first & only date with a fellow who neglected that fact - and other interesting details!) - use a CURRENT photo - not your high school photo especially if it was more than ten or twenty years ago!