Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I'm a Hopeless Romantic....Really!

I've always considered myself a hopeless romantic. I love cheesy movies where the lovers end up together and live happily ever after. I love reading about engagements and weddings and hearing about how people found true love. My favorite book and movie is Gone With the Wind and while I suppose some wouldn't consider that a movie with a lovey dovey ending; Rhett's love for Scarlett is so strong that it just gets to me every time I watch the movie. My second favorite book is Jane Eyre and my second favorite move is Love you're catching the theme here.

However, I've started to notice that whenever I'm in a situation where I'm talking to a friend about their relationship and it isn't going well I'm always on the side of "dump the jerk". It happened to me again today and it made me think about my position on love. Then I came home to read an engagement story that made me want to tell the bride to be that I had done the same thing she did and ended up divorced so maybe she should think it through. So is it possible that I'm not as much of a romantic as I think?

Nah! Despite one of my friends best efforts to convince me that dating is pointless and monogamy is a sham, I still believe in it. But, my instinct to tell friends to get out of relationships that aren't working comes from being in relationships that didn't work and watching other people waste their lives being miserable just to keep from rocking the boat or disrupting other people's lives. I'm realistic, I know that you cannot get everything you need in life from one person. I also know that relationships take a lot of work and they have their bad moments. But, if you sit down with a piece of paper and list the bad and the good and the good side is a whole lot smaller and really only has things on it that you could do for yourself, then is it worth hanging in? I'm an advocate of counseling and trying to work things out for sure, but how long do you do that? I believe that the person you're with should mostly make your life better by being in it and that you would be the same type of person for them. If that isn't the case, then it's not right.

I don't know if there is that one person for all of us, or if we really aren't supposed to be monogamous. I'm not religious so I'm not worried about the fire and brimstone implications of it all. I just know that we pass this way once and we deserve to live a good life. If we are miserable then those around us will eventually be as well and that doesn't help the world at all.

So I still think I'm a hopeless romantic and I do believe in the fairytale endings. But I also believe that everyone's fairytale is a little different and we have to find what works for us. I still believe that there is a man out there who will love me the way that Rhett loved Scarlett. I just hope I'm not to stupid to notice.

P.S. - I HATED The Notebook....think what you will ;)


  1. Oh- Lo quote from Megamind: incredibly handsome genius and master of all villiany. Lol ok onward. I agree with you, and I believe there is someone who is specifically right for you, that enriches your personality, is in control of their own life, can both give encouragement and praise too without needing it in return. A person who you can rely on that completely in any situation that may arise. A relationship where each person plays out there biological role, a man is a man, and a woman is a woman, not that any one is better than the other. its just..... we live in a complex world..... where finding your other 1/2 is very difficult.

    I would be down to talk with you more about this, if you'd like you can look me up on FB:

  2. Love the Megamind quote Tyler. You're right it is very difficult to find that balance with another person.