This is a subject I've been thinking about for about a week now and I felt the need to write about it. Last weeks topic at Weight Watchers was about making yourself a priority during your weight loss journey. Our leader asked us how we accomplish this and how we are able to give ourselves permission to carve out the time to attend meetings and spend the money on the program. I suppose that there are some people out there who think that it's absurd not to do things like that for yourself, but I think most women struggle with this at some point in their lives. Men may as well, but I can only speak from my perspective.
Women, especially mothers, are sort of trained (or perhaps even born) with the desire to take care of everyone else in our lives and put our own needs aside. I've been in this position myself for much of my life. At the end of our meeting I thought every woman in the room was feeling the way I do about this subject, but our leader went around the room asking us all to say "It's all about me!" The idea, of course, was to sort of empower us to make ourselves a priority in our own lives. She even used the analogy of putting on the oxygen mask on a plane before assisting others. But to my shock (and I believe hers as well) two women refused to say it. Instead they said their family was first.
Then this evening another friend posted a quote from a woman who was commenting on the idea of the "hot mom" trend going on right now and how women need to give their children role models and not supermodels. That from conception they needed to put the needs of their child ahead of their desire to look good. Now, I know my friend was posting it as sort of food for thought...and it did get me thinking.
My children mean more to me than anything else on this planet. I would do anything to make their live as wonderful as possible. If I have extra money, it gets spent on something for them before something for myself every time. When they were babies and toddlers their needs were all I thought about and I let myself go as a result. I felt guilty even considering doing things for myself and I neglected my health, my appearance and my own interests and needs.
I'm not sure if it's the fact that because I now share custody of them with my ex-husband and so I have more free time than some parents or what, but the reality that one day they will not need me to the extent they do now has hit home. Between that and the way I felt with all of the extra weight has really made me question to what extent our neglect of ourselves is impacting our children. The saying "if mama ain't happy..." really is true! If you wake up feeling miserable, fat and frumpy are you the best mother you can be for your children? There is a line between being a supermodel and just feeling good about ourselves.
When I was overweight I was not as good of a mother as I am now. I couldn't play with them the way I can now, I could read to them without feeling out of breath and I was always so worn out on field trips. I had no confidence so I didn't like to volunteer to help with things at school or take them to activities. I don't have any of those issues now. By taking the time each week for myself to attend these meetings and lose the weight I have improved my life and the lives of my kids.
As for the "hot mom" trend....well that's sort of subjective. I do know that there are women who focus so much on their own lives and appearance that they neglect their children or rely on someone else to raise them. This isn't good for the kids. But "hot" is different for everyone. If you are a mom and you feel like you look good then you can be the "hot mom". It doesn't mean you have to get manicures and wear tons of makeup. You get to decide where you feel good, but the point is, you have to feel good! Mothers do the hardest job in the world, don't you think you owe yourself an hour or two a week to do things that are just for you and make you feel good? Don't you deserve a bit of the money for healthy food and maybe some new clothes that make you feel sexy?
You are the only person who can control your happiness and if you are happy then those in your life will be happier as well. No one else is going to do this for you. It really is ALL ABOUT YOU!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I'm a Hopeless Romantic....Really!
I've always considered myself a hopeless romantic. I love cheesy movies where the lovers end up together and live happily ever after. I love reading about engagements and weddings and hearing about how people found true love. My favorite book and movie is Gone With the Wind and while I suppose some wouldn't consider that a movie with a lovey dovey ending; Rhett's love for Scarlett is so strong that it just gets to me every time I watch the movie. My second favorite book is Jane Eyre and my second favorite move is Love Actually...so you're catching the theme here.
However, I've started to notice that whenever I'm in a situation where I'm talking to a friend about their relationship and it isn't going well I'm always on the side of "dump the jerk". It happened to me again today and it made me think about my position on love. Then I came home to read an engagement story that made me want to tell the bride to be that I had done the same thing she did and ended up divorced so maybe she should think it through. So is it possible that I'm not as much of a romantic as I think?
Nah! Despite one of my friends best efforts to convince me that dating is pointless and monogamy is a sham, I still believe in it. But, my instinct to tell friends to get out of relationships that aren't working comes from being in relationships that didn't work and watching other people waste their lives being miserable just to keep from rocking the boat or disrupting other people's lives. I'm realistic, I know that you cannot get everything you need in life from one person. I also know that relationships take a lot of work and they have their bad moments. But, if you sit down with a piece of paper and list the bad and the good and the good side is a whole lot smaller and really only has things on it that you could do for yourself, then is it worth hanging in? I'm an advocate of counseling and trying to work things out for sure, but how long do you do that? I believe that the person you're with should mostly make your life better by being in it and that you would be the same type of person for them. If that isn't the case, then it's not right.
I don't know if there is that one person for all of us, or if we really aren't supposed to be monogamous. I'm not religious so I'm not worried about the fire and brimstone implications of it all. I just know that we pass this way once and we deserve to live a good life. If we are miserable then those around us will eventually be as well and that doesn't help the world at all.
So I still think I'm a hopeless romantic and I do believe in the fairytale endings. But I also believe that everyone's fairytale is a little different and we have to find what works for us. I still believe that there is a man out there who will love me the way that Rhett loved Scarlett. I just hope I'm not to stupid to notice.
P.S. - I HATED The Notebook....think what you will ;)
However, I've started to notice that whenever I'm in a situation where I'm talking to a friend about their relationship and it isn't going well I'm always on the side of "dump the jerk". It happened to me again today and it made me think about my position on love. Then I came home to read an engagement story that made me want to tell the bride to be that I had done the same thing she did and ended up divorced so maybe she should think it through. So is it possible that I'm not as much of a romantic as I think?
Nah! Despite one of my friends best efforts to convince me that dating is pointless and monogamy is a sham, I still believe in it. But, my instinct to tell friends to get out of relationships that aren't working comes from being in relationships that didn't work and watching other people waste their lives being miserable just to keep from rocking the boat or disrupting other people's lives. I'm realistic, I know that you cannot get everything you need in life from one person. I also know that relationships take a lot of work and they have their bad moments. But, if you sit down with a piece of paper and list the bad and the good and the good side is a whole lot smaller and really only has things on it that you could do for yourself, then is it worth hanging in? I'm an advocate of counseling and trying to work things out for sure, but how long do you do that? I believe that the person you're with should mostly make your life better by being in it and that you would be the same type of person for them. If that isn't the case, then it's not right.
I don't know if there is that one person for all of us, or if we really aren't supposed to be monogamous. I'm not religious so I'm not worried about the fire and brimstone implications of it all. I just know that we pass this way once and we deserve to live a good life. If we are miserable then those around us will eventually be as well and that doesn't help the world at all.
So I still think I'm a hopeless romantic and I do believe in the fairytale endings. But I also believe that everyone's fairytale is a little different and we have to find what works for us. I still believe that there is a man out there who will love me the way that Rhett loved Scarlett. I just hope I'm not to stupid to notice.
P.S. - I HATED The Notebook....think what you will ;)
Friday, March 25, 2011
Lifetime!!
I can't believe it has been nearly a month since I wrote here. I'm very sorry to all five of my readers ;)
Today was a big deal for me. I made Lifetime status at Weight Watchers!!!!!! If you are not familiar with that term what it means is that I have stayed within two pounds of my goal weight for six weeks. It also means you no longer have to pay to attend meetings as long as you keep maintaining. A lot of us (myself included) look forward to no longer paying to attend meetings, especially if we've been at it a while. But we'd be lying if we didn't also admit that it is a huge accomplishment that not a lot of people achieve or stay at. That doesn't mean Weight Watchers is ineffective at getting people to that point. It just means that it's hard!
A lot of people who come to WW have been there before and gained some or all of their weight back. Some make it to goal but can't maintain it and while they're still Lifetime members, they have to resume paying until they get back on track. I think it's an aptly named designation because WW is not a diet. It's something you do for a Lifetime! It's also something that a lot of people realize they cannot do on their own no matter how well they know the program. A member in the meeting I attended today had just got back to not having to pay again. She mentioned how she believed she could do it without support and without really following the things she'd been taught and the weight began to creep back on.
I think some people just starting out or who are considering joining might not like the idea of always needing to be in the meetings or following the plan. I guess I understand that. I certainly don't love tracking and there are other things I could do with the time I spend in the meetings. But, the truth is, those meetings have helped me so much and the friendships I've made there are invaluable to me and I know myself and I know I won't keep the weight off if I don't have the accountability. I think the majority of people who need WW are food addicts and we have to eat so there is no getting away from it. You wouldn't tell a drug addict or an alcoholic to quit getting support, so getting support for this is not a bad thing and it's something we should look at as a gift to ourselves.
Today was a big deal for me. I made Lifetime status at Weight Watchers!!!!!! If you are not familiar with that term what it means is that I have stayed within two pounds of my goal weight for six weeks. It also means you no longer have to pay to attend meetings as long as you keep maintaining. A lot of us (myself included) look forward to no longer paying to attend meetings, especially if we've been at it a while. But we'd be lying if we didn't also admit that it is a huge accomplishment that not a lot of people achieve or stay at. That doesn't mean Weight Watchers is ineffective at getting people to that point. It just means that it's hard!
A lot of people who come to WW have been there before and gained some or all of their weight back. Some make it to goal but can't maintain it and while they're still Lifetime members, they have to resume paying until they get back on track. I think it's an aptly named designation because WW is not a diet. It's something you do for a Lifetime! It's also something that a lot of people realize they cannot do on their own no matter how well they know the program. A member in the meeting I attended today had just got back to not having to pay again. She mentioned how she believed she could do it without support and without really following the things she'd been taught and the weight began to creep back on.
I think some people just starting out or who are considering joining might not like the idea of always needing to be in the meetings or following the plan. I guess I understand that. I certainly don't love tracking and there are other things I could do with the time I spend in the meetings. But, the truth is, those meetings have helped me so much and the friendships I've made there are invaluable to me and I know myself and I know I won't keep the weight off if I don't have the accountability. I think the majority of people who need WW are food addicts and we have to eat so there is no getting away from it. You wouldn't tell a drug addict or an alcoholic to quit getting support, so getting support for this is not a bad thing and it's something we should look at as a gift to ourselves.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Thursday is Going to Be Rough!
It's a darn good thing that my weight has already been submitted for this month to keep me in my job because this has been one rough week of eating. It was my birthday so I did splurge a little, but I didn't eat anything crazy. To be honest, I've eaten really well this week, but I've just eaten a ton of food and I know I'm up in weight! It will be OK though. That's the best thing about Weight Watchers, you just go back to doing what you know you need to do and it all turns out fine!
My main goal right now when it comes to the weight loss is to get off of diet soda! I told myself I would wait until I was at goal to stop drinking it. I wanted to tackle one thing at a time. Well, now I'm at goal and still want to lose about fifteen more pounds and I know if I quit drinking the diet soda and switch to water I'll get there. I've also noticed that when I drink caffeine I get heart palpitations so I know it is really time to quit. But, I know it's going to suck so I'm dreading it!
Also I realized the other day that it has been a year since I became a vegetarian! It's been a year of trying a lot of new things that's for sure! It's also been a lot of adjustment when it comes to eating out or traveling very far from home. I'm still not as adventurous as I'd like, but I've come to love a fair number of new things. We learned at Thanksgiving that we love Tofurky in this house. I find eating out to be really challenging though and that sort of surprises me. I expected chain restaurants to be easy and local places to be difficult. I found it to be quite the opposite! Some chains don't even have anything that you can remove the meat from and still have an edible meal! I don't expect restaurants to cater to my diet, but I'm sort of shocked that there isn't at least one non-salad vegetarian option. In fact, most of the salads are covered in meat. I took my first trip a few hours away from home a few weeks back (I don't travel much) and didn't take a lot of food with me. Trying to find a quick place to stop where I knew I would be able to eat was a challenge. But, I'm learning and it's getting easier.
My main goal right now when it comes to the weight loss is to get off of diet soda! I told myself I would wait until I was at goal to stop drinking it. I wanted to tackle one thing at a time. Well, now I'm at goal and still want to lose about fifteen more pounds and I know if I quit drinking the diet soda and switch to water I'll get there. I've also noticed that when I drink caffeine I get heart palpitations so I know it is really time to quit. But, I know it's going to suck so I'm dreading it!
Also I realized the other day that it has been a year since I became a vegetarian! It's been a year of trying a lot of new things that's for sure! It's also been a lot of adjustment when it comes to eating out or traveling very far from home. I'm still not as adventurous as I'd like, but I've come to love a fair number of new things. We learned at Thanksgiving that we love Tofurky in this house. I find eating out to be really challenging though and that sort of surprises me. I expected chain restaurants to be easy and local places to be difficult. I found it to be quite the opposite! Some chains don't even have anything that you can remove the meat from and still have an edible meal! I don't expect restaurants to cater to my diet, but I'm sort of shocked that there isn't at least one non-salad vegetarian option. In fact, most of the salads are covered in meat. I took my first trip a few hours away from home a few weeks back (I don't travel much) and didn't take a lot of food with me. Trying to find a quick place to stop where I knew I would be able to eat was a challenge. But, I'm learning and it's getting easier.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Birthday and Updates
It's been forever since I've written! So sorry about that! A lot has been going on, most of it boring, so I'll spare you the details.
This Friday was my 32st birthday and it was a great day. The boys were with their dad that morning, but my youngest called to sing to me and they both gave me huge hugs when they got of the bus that afternoon and presented me with the presents that they picked out (with the help of dad and step-mom, which I find very nice). They gave me a gift card to Books-A-Million and a Glee CD! Both were perfect gifts and came with very nice cards as well. My mom gave me the mud-flap girl necklace I've been on the verge of buying for months and I love it!! We went to see Rango since it came out on my birthday and I have to admit that I was less than impressed. It was cute, but not nearly as good as I'd hoped.
Saturday I worked my first meeting as an actual receptionist and it went pretty well I think. I've been able to do several meetings recently as a substitute so I feel a bit more confidant. I'm still afraid of enrolling new members because I haven't done any to speak of. I hope I get some practice soon though. So far, I love the job! It's fun to see people get excited and motivated by their success and it's even good when you think you might have said the right thing to get someone not to beat themself up for a gain. I will say it is pretty nerve-wracking now when I get on the scale. I'm so worried about going over goal now that my job is on the line, but it really makes me think about what I'm eating.
I'm still insanely behind with school work and really hope I can get caught up this week since I have very little going on. Hopefully I'll find more time to post here as well.
This Friday was my 32st birthday and it was a great day. The boys were with their dad that morning, but my youngest called to sing to me and they both gave me huge hugs when they got of the bus that afternoon and presented me with the presents that they picked out (with the help of dad and step-mom, which I find very nice). They gave me a gift card to Books-A-Million and a Glee CD! Both were perfect gifts and came with very nice cards as well. My mom gave me the mud-flap girl necklace I've been on the verge of buying for months and I love it!! We went to see Rango since it came out on my birthday and I have to admit that I was less than impressed. It was cute, but not nearly as good as I'd hoped.
Saturday I worked my first meeting as an actual receptionist and it went pretty well I think. I've been able to do several meetings recently as a substitute so I feel a bit more confidant. I'm still afraid of enrolling new members because I haven't done any to speak of. I hope I get some practice soon though. So far, I love the job! It's fun to see people get excited and motivated by their success and it's even good when you think you might have said the right thing to get someone not to beat themself up for a gain. I will say it is pretty nerve-wracking now when I get on the scale. I'm so worried about going over goal now that my job is on the line, but it really makes me think about what I'm eating.
I'm still insanely behind with school work and really hope I can get caught up this week since I have very little going on. Hopefully I'll find more time to post here as well.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
GOAL!!!!!!
You need to shout that like those world cup soccer announcers shout it! Because that's how it was in my head! I MADE GOAL!!!!!!
Today was my first day of training for Weight Watchers and I was training in the meeting I normally attend so I didn't get to weigh in until the end of the training. I was pretty nervous because it was going to be my first weigh in as an employee and so I knew my number was a much bigger deal. I have been insanely hungry this week. I'm pretty sure my thyroid medication is off and when it gets off then I can get super hungry and eat everything near me. That's pretty much what I did this week. I tried very hard to pick free foods to keep the damage down but I ate.
So, getting up on that scale today I was expecting about a pound gain and instead I lost 1.4! That means I'm actually .4 less than goal! I can't tell you how excited I was! My leader asked me how I was going to reward myself and I hadn't really decided because I was expecting that gain. So, I promptly went out and bought myself the beige heels I've been coveting forever. So, as of today I have lost 55 pounds!
Interestingly enough today was also the Oprah interview with Jennifer Hudson who is the spokesperson for Weight Watchers. I found it so interesting that she said she still has it in her head that she is the old weight. I experienced the same thing (and still experience) of thinking that I am still over 200 pounds and not able to wear the cute clothes that I see in the stores. It really is something that takes a while to get used to and I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone in that feeling.
So, if anyone out there who has been thinking about changing their life, don't put it off any more! You deserve it!!
Today was my first day of training for Weight Watchers and I was training in the meeting I normally attend so I didn't get to weigh in until the end of the training. I was pretty nervous because it was going to be my first weigh in as an employee and so I knew my number was a much bigger deal. I have been insanely hungry this week. I'm pretty sure my thyroid medication is off and when it gets off then I can get super hungry and eat everything near me. That's pretty much what I did this week. I tried very hard to pick free foods to keep the damage down but I ate.
So, getting up on that scale today I was expecting about a pound gain and instead I lost 1.4! That means I'm actually .4 less than goal! I can't tell you how excited I was! My leader asked me how I was going to reward myself and I hadn't really decided because I was expecting that gain. So, I promptly went out and bought myself the beige heels I've been coveting forever. So, as of today I have lost 55 pounds!
Interestingly enough today was also the Oprah interview with Jennifer Hudson who is the spokesperson for Weight Watchers. I found it so interesting that she said she still has it in her head that she is the old weight. I experienced the same thing (and still experience) of thinking that I am still over 200 pounds and not able to wear the cute clothes that I see in the stores. It really is something that takes a while to get used to and I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone in that feeling.
So, if anyone out there who has been thinking about changing their life, don't put it off any more! You deserve it!!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Fabulous Weekend
My ex and I have decided to each have one full weekend a month with the boys. We usually split the weekend up so we both have time with them, but we thought one full weekend each month would allow us to do a lot more with them once in a while. This was our first month and this weekend was my full weekend! We had a BLAST!
Friday evening we visited our favorite thrift store and picked up a few good buys. Then we had dinner at our favorite restaurant. Saturday we went to Home Depot for their kid's clinic and the boys made heart shaped shelves. Then we went to our local children's museum and they had a ton of fun exploring everything there. After lunch we spent the rest of the afternoon shopping at the other thrift stores in town. We got some other really great bargains including a scary looking monkey puppet and a brand new popcorn popper!
Today was by far the most fun of all. A few months back I went roller skating again for the first time in about fifteen years. The rink had changed so much since I went there but I remembered how much I enjoyed it and I thought it would be fun to take the boys. I wasn't sure how they would feel about it but we went today and it was the most fun I've seen them have in a long time. Despite the fact that they spent a large portion of their time there on the ground and a few tears were shed, they had so much fun and wanted to stay the entire time they were open. As soon as we left they were asking when we could go back again and my oldest even let me take pictures of him (which he never does)!
I start training for my job at WW this week and so I'm going to have to miss a few of their events from time to time. I don't like it when I can't be there for something they're doing, but weekends like this let me know that they'll have plenty of good memories!
Friday evening we visited our favorite thrift store and picked up a few good buys. Then we had dinner at our favorite restaurant. Saturday we went to Home Depot for their kid's clinic and the boys made heart shaped shelves. Then we went to our local children's museum and they had a ton of fun exploring everything there. After lunch we spent the rest of the afternoon shopping at the other thrift stores in town. We got some other really great bargains including a scary looking monkey puppet and a brand new popcorn popper!
Today was by far the most fun of all. A few months back I went roller skating again for the first time in about fifteen years. The rink had changed so much since I went there but I remembered how much I enjoyed it and I thought it would be fun to take the boys. I wasn't sure how they would feel about it but we went today and it was the most fun I've seen them have in a long time. Despite the fact that they spent a large portion of their time there on the ground and a few tears were shed, they had so much fun and wanted to stay the entire time they were open. As soon as we left they were asking when we could go back again and my oldest even let me take pictures of him (which he never does)!
I start training for my job at WW this week and so I'm going to have to miss a few of their events from time to time. I don't like it when I can't be there for something they're doing, but weekends like this let me know that they'll have plenty of good memories!
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