I didn't get an decluttering done yesterday and sadly may not today either. But, today was a big day in my weight loss journey. I switched my weigh in day to Wednesday due to schedule conflict so I had planned to weigh this morning. However, the person who was supposed to work at the center couldn't, and so I went in to cover for her. I decided I still had to know my weight for the week, so I hoped on the scale and couldn't believe my eyes! I was down 4.6 pounds and had finally hit a milestone I've been wanting to see forever. I've now lost 60 pounds with Weight Watchers!!!!!!
Now granted, I gave blood two days ago and I've been under a ton of stress, so I won't be shocked to see some of this return next week, but for today the number is 60 and I am thrilled!!!! On top of that there's a member who I know has been struggling with small losses (which is how I lost most of mine) and several times our paths have crossed at just the right time and I've managed to keep her going. Today was another one of those days. We had more time to chat and I think I was able to help her understand some things about her losses and give her some more hope. Fingers crossed she sticks with it and is able to feel as good as I do some day!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
A Day of Donating
Sorry I didn't post yesterday, the bottom dropped out of my evening and I just didn't have time. Yesterday was the day of donating. I took three shopping bags of stuff to our local thrift store, and a bag to my mom's because I had some things that were hers. I also donated a pint of blood. So, a lot went out yesterday and that made me happy.
I didn't have a lot of time to declutter anything, but really want to try to do at least one thing a day, so I decided to tackle the "junk drawer". This proved to be a little harder than I thought, because the "junk" is actually stuff I use quite a bit. But here is the before...
I did re-home a few things from this drawer before returning everything because I use these things a lot and wanted it to only contain what needed to be there.
I didn't have a lot of time to declutter anything, but really want to try to do at least one thing a day, so I decided to tackle the "junk drawer". This proved to be a little harder than I thought, because the "junk" is actually stuff I use quite a bit. But here is the before...
I did re-home a few things from this drawer before returning everything because I use these things a lot and wanted it to only contain what needed to be there.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The Indecision Of It All!
I'm resisting the urge to tear my house apart all at once quite well. I'm making myself take it cabinet by cabinet and stopping when I feel the need to pull something out of another cabinet that I know I want to get rid of. Tonight I've done two cabinets so far. Now, keep in mind that due to the amount of stuff I have some of my placement of things doesn't make much sense. I will put things in more logical homes at some point, but right now I'm taking before an after pictures with what came out of each cabinet.
It feels amazing to get rid of that much and it's getting easier every time! I did hesitate for a while over a vase. It's in the bag to be donated, but it may end up going back in the cabinet. It's really beautiful and while I don't use it often, it has been used, and I love it. So we'll see what I think about it tomorrow.
I'm also struggling with some other items, and I expect this to continue. Part of my goal in all of this is to give myself the freedom to do more things that I enjoy and spend more time with the boys. They love to cook and I need to cook more meals at home. I have a lot of cooking items (I have a lot of everything remember) and the first question of what to keep came with my silicone molds.
None of these have ever been used. I purchased them on clearance after the holiday in which they were for sale, but they've been in the cabinet since. Now, my first thought is to get rid of them since they've never been used. But, will I use them once my focus has fully shifted? I know the theory is often to get rid of it and replace it if someday you ever need it, but I can't really afford to do that right now. So, to stay or to go?
It feels amazing to get rid of that much and it's getting easier every time! I did hesitate for a while over a vase. It's in the bag to be donated, but it may end up going back in the cabinet. It's really beautiful and while I don't use it often, it has been used, and I love it. So we'll see what I think about it tomorrow.
I'm also struggling with some other items, and I expect this to continue. Part of my goal in all of this is to give myself the freedom to do more things that I enjoy and spend more time with the boys. They love to cook and I need to cook more meals at home. I have a lot of cooking items (I have a lot of everything remember) and the first question of what to keep came with my silicone molds.
The Day After
So it is the day after my first big (little) purge. Big in that for once I really got rid of stuff instead of keeping things I thought I might use. This time I only kept what I know I will use, and if it doesn't get used in the next few months, it's gone too. Little, in that I know it was just one cabinet and I have a ton of stuff ahead of me. That fact is rather daunting and probably why I haven't done this before.
When people come in to start their weight loss journey we give them a 5% and a 10% goal. These are small goals and we try to get them to focus on those goals rather than the total amount of weight they need or want to lose. I have to take the advice I give others in this situation. I can't focus on the whole house, or the anxiety will take over and nothing will get done. This could take a long time and I have to be OK with that. Honestly though, I think this might be harder than my weight loss journey.
But when I woke up this morning I did not have an urge to go put anything back in the cabinet that was slated for donation, so that must be a good sign. There was a little sense of unease, but it's already being replaced with the idea of what things will look like once the stuff is pared down. I even have some friends who are talking about doing the same thing, so I may have a little support team doing this with me.
When people come in to start their weight loss journey we give them a 5% and a 10% goal. These are small goals and we try to get them to focus on those goals rather than the total amount of weight they need or want to lose. I have to take the advice I give others in this situation. I can't focus on the whole house, or the anxiety will take over and nothing will get done. This could take a long time and I have to be OK with that. Honestly though, I think this might be harder than my weight loss journey.
But when I woke up this morning I did not have an urge to go put anything back in the cabinet that was slated for donation, so that must be a good sign. There was a little sense of unease, but it's already being replaced with the idea of what things will look like once the stuff is pared down. I even have some friends who are talking about doing the same thing, so I may have a little support team doing this with me.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
I started!
So immediately after writing my post about scaling down and getting rid of stuff I felt like I just had to tackle that candle cabinet!
I went in there and pulled everything out of it. But the whole time I was pulling things out I was feeling a lot of anxiety. Brand new candles in their packaging and I was thinking I should keep them to give away as gifts. I powered through it and got all of it out....then called my mom to tell her what a nutcase I am to be having an anxiety attack over candles. We kept talking and I got it all pared down to what I think I will actually use.
It probably won't stay in this cabinet now, but I wanted to show the perspective. All of what I took out will go to yard sale and goodwill. I have to say, I feel lighter already.
I went in there and pulled everything out of it. But the whole time I was pulling things out I was feeling a lot of anxiety. Brand new candles in their packaging and I was thinking I should keep them to give away as gifts. I powered through it and got all of it out....then called my mom to tell her what a nutcase I am to be having an anxiety attack over candles. We kept talking and I got it all pared down to what I think I will actually use.
It probably won't stay in this cabinet now, but I wanted to show the perspective. All of what I took out will go to yard sale and goodwill. I have to say, I feel lighter already.
Something Has To Give
It's been a while since I've been here and I wish I could say it is because I've been busy having fun and living it up. But that's not the case. I've been working like a crazy person and just trying to keep my head above water. I won't bore you with the details of all that.
But over the past few months a lot has gone very wrong in my life. Sure, things can always be worse and I try to maintain a positive attitude, but I'm not a happy camper at this point in life. I have a lot that is very good and I'm not knocking any of that, but that's not the subject of this post.
I've mentioned before that I have an abnormally high anxiety level. I suspect there's a lot going on upstairs that I don't fully understand and could probably use the help of a professional. But without insurance, that isn't happening. So, you do with what you have, and all I have is myself to work with at this point. So I'm considering some rather drastic change.
Some time back I watched this Oprah show. I was enthralled! One of the largest sources of stress and anxiety in my life is stuff. No one thing in particular, just my stuff. I keep things (useful things, not broken stuff, and I'm not a hoarder) that I think I'll need or want some day. We all do this I know, but how many of you have an entire kitchen cabinet devoted to candles? Um, I do, and I almost never burn candles. There is no reason to have all of those candles, and yet I keep them.
I'm a pretty neat person. People who know me or who have been to my house know that I try to keep things orderly. But, my house looks a mess most of the time because there is WAY too much stuff in a place so small. I clean, I try to organize, but there is just too much.
After watching that show I found myself looking for more people who live a life of "voluntary simplicity". I stumbled on a blog (which I wish I could find again) of a family who lived this type of life and it looked fantastic. She posted pictures of her daughters bedroom and closet and I was just amazed at how simple it all was and how happy their life looked. Now, I'm in no way ready to move into a one bedroom cabin in the woods with my two boys, but I think most of the stuff could go and I'd never miss it.
I also think about all the time and money I've spent acquiring these things and trying to find homes for them and cleaning around them...and how much better that time could have been spent. I've been observing what my children seem to enjoy most, and none of it involves much stuff. They'd rather be at the library or making something than playing the Wii that I thought they had to have.
So this high maintenance hippie is going to try to get a little more hippie and a little less high maintenance. Think I can let go of the stuff? I'm not sure if I can, but we're going to see.
But over the past few months a lot has gone very wrong in my life. Sure, things can always be worse and I try to maintain a positive attitude, but I'm not a happy camper at this point in life. I have a lot that is very good and I'm not knocking any of that, but that's not the subject of this post.
I've mentioned before that I have an abnormally high anxiety level. I suspect there's a lot going on upstairs that I don't fully understand and could probably use the help of a professional. But without insurance, that isn't happening. So, you do with what you have, and all I have is myself to work with at this point. So I'm considering some rather drastic change.
Some time back I watched this Oprah show. I was enthralled! One of the largest sources of stress and anxiety in my life is stuff. No one thing in particular, just my stuff. I keep things (useful things, not broken stuff, and I'm not a hoarder) that I think I'll need or want some day. We all do this I know, but how many of you have an entire kitchen cabinet devoted to candles? Um, I do, and I almost never burn candles. There is no reason to have all of those candles, and yet I keep them.
I'm a pretty neat person. People who know me or who have been to my house know that I try to keep things orderly. But, my house looks a mess most of the time because there is WAY too much stuff in a place so small. I clean, I try to organize, but there is just too much.
After watching that show I found myself looking for more people who live a life of "voluntary simplicity". I stumbled on a blog (which I wish I could find again) of a family who lived this type of life and it looked fantastic. She posted pictures of her daughters bedroom and closet and I was just amazed at how simple it all was and how happy their life looked. Now, I'm in no way ready to move into a one bedroom cabin in the woods with my two boys, but I think most of the stuff could go and I'd never miss it.
I also think about all the time and money I've spent acquiring these things and trying to find homes for them and cleaning around them...and how much better that time could have been spent. I've been observing what my children seem to enjoy most, and none of it involves much stuff. They'd rather be at the library or making something than playing the Wii that I thought they had to have.
So this high maintenance hippie is going to try to get a little more hippie and a little less high maintenance. Think I can let go of the stuff? I'm not sure if I can, but we're going to see.
Monday, July 11, 2011
No Patience For Crap
Maybe I'm getting old, maybe I'm just a bitch...but I seriously have no patience in relationships anymore. I have so many friends going through so much crap in their marriages, dating lives and it just amazes me what people will put up with.
Now before you think I'm all high and mighty please note that I am a moron when it comes to finding love and sustaining a relationship. If you know me well you know the end of my marriage to a good man (even if he isn't the man for me) was 99% my fault. I made some STUPID choices and did things I'll regret forever. I then proceeded to stay in a horrible relationship for three years after that totally ignoring the fact that the man I was with was a compulsive liar and a narcissist. So, I'm no where near perfect.
I also believe in second chances. The people I hurt forgave me and I think we all learned a lot in the process. I'm not religious so I have no fears of some after life overlord still hanging over me. I'm good. And if there is something else out there...well I'm screwed anyway and I'm not going to live a life full of guilt. So just because someone makes a mistake, that doesn't mean that they're out on their keister. I mean, I wouldn't want someone to hold me that high of a standard so I won't do it to someone else either.
But there comes a point in every relationship where you have to say, does this person make my life better by being in it a good portion of the time? If the answer is no, then it's time to evaluate. If you can find a way to fix it...FANTASTIC! But if you can't then why put yourself through a lifetime of torture? We only pass this way one time and I refuse to live it in misery. So perhaps my threshold for tolerance is lower than most people's now, but we teach people how to treat us and I deserve something great.
Now before you think I'm all high and mighty please note that I am a moron when it comes to finding love and sustaining a relationship. If you know me well you know the end of my marriage to a good man (even if he isn't the man for me) was 99% my fault. I made some STUPID choices and did things I'll regret forever. I then proceeded to stay in a horrible relationship for three years after that totally ignoring the fact that the man I was with was a compulsive liar and a narcissist. So, I'm no where near perfect.
I also believe in second chances. The people I hurt forgave me and I think we all learned a lot in the process. I'm not religious so I have no fears of some after life overlord still hanging over me. I'm good. And if there is something else out there...well I'm screwed anyway and I'm not going to live a life full of guilt. So just because someone makes a mistake, that doesn't mean that they're out on their keister. I mean, I wouldn't want someone to hold me that high of a standard so I won't do it to someone else either.
But there comes a point in every relationship where you have to say, does this person make my life better by being in it a good portion of the time? If the answer is no, then it's time to evaluate. If you can find a way to fix it...FANTASTIC! But if you can't then why put yourself through a lifetime of torture? We only pass this way one time and I refuse to live it in misery. So perhaps my threshold for tolerance is lower than most people's now, but we teach people how to treat us and I deserve something great.
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